Na na na na na na na, na na na na na na na. Hey guys! We are talking about the Civil War again! This time its August Willich, an interesting piece o' the American Pie that doesn't get his just deserts (see what I did there?) To communist for Marx, just communist enough for the Union Army. John really wants you to know that he doesn't know if he's right, but he is going to go ahead and ascribe some motives to historical figures and make sweeping generalizations. So does Jeremiah, so its pretty sweepy on both sides. Enjoy. Also, itunes reviews would be terrific.

Hey. I took a long time to edit this and now it is the last day of february so I'd better post it. Its from like 2 or 3 weeks ago. Sometimes I get lazy. You know who wasn't lazy? Oliver Hazard Perry. At least not when it came to mobilizing and directing the forces that fought the British during the Battle of Lake Eerie. He did real well with that. Also, the war of 1812 was stupid. I mean, all war is stupid, but the war of 1812 was real dumb. Ummmm, Jeremiah did a great job. I think we will learn about a civil war general next time. I didn't know when we recorded the podcast but I have been doing some self-searching since then a realized many things. Most of them are food related. I enjoy sandwiches, for instance. But also I need a topic for the next podcast and that it is. So yeah, Oliver Hazard Perry was a Navy man who lead an interesting life and did some impressive stuff so enjoy bye.

Oh yeah. All the states too. They all failed as well. And then the American academy and educational apparatus failed to make people aware in subsequent generations that there was a time when people were given the opportunity to take active roles in their political and social life ("given" the opportunity means they were presented with the chance after years of chattel slavery and legal discrimination based on skin color) and grabbed hold wholeheartedly and effectively governed. But nope, instead we got Plessy vs. Ferguson, Woodrow Wilson, J. Edgar Hoover and the KKK and its affiliates in the governments of states like Mississippi, Alabama, Arkansas and many others and fuck...just fuck it. Listen to the podcast, I hope we did a good job and I hope you enjoy!

Welcome to History Shmistory! There is a new Vice-President on the block. Well not really, he was Vice President in the 40s. But you maybe haven't heard of him so maybe he's new to you. Or maybe not, and look at you. Ain't you something. You should go on Jeopardy. Henry Wallace was a pretty cool dude it seems like. Jeremiah takes us on a word journey and guides us like Virgil in the Divine Comedy or like another famous guide. Like Gonzo in "A Muppet Christmas Carol". Henry was into things like crop rotation, corn, equality of race and gender, the end of poll taxes and corn. Did we mention corn? Have fun and Merry Merrymas!

Don't tell my heart, my achy, breaky (how do you spell breaky? is it brakey?) Something, something, Bill Ray Cyrus joke. Miley Cyrus was Hannah Montana the whole time. Cyrus the Great was the emperor of Persia before it was cool to be emperor of Persia (looking at you, Xerxes and Cyrus the not quite as great). He did some great stuff, like decreed an end to slavery on a cylinder. He ended the Babylonian Empire, and changed the world by physically assaulting the child of a noble seriously enough involve the authorities. "That's Grandpa Astyages to you, young man"

Here he comes, two swords a'swinging. Miyamoto Musashi is the guy we are talking about. He pisses off his dad, wipes out the male line of a family and then adopts a son to make up for the other adopted son who had to kill himself because culture of the time and stuff. He managed to write a few books ("The Five Rings" not a prequel to "The Lord of the Rings" as John thought) and become the greatest sword fighter ever (don't have much knowledge of who to compare it to so we will just do the "World Champion" thing for lack of contenders). Enjoy post-Hallows Eve fun!

Join us as we talk about the last pagan emperor of the Roman Empire, which at this point was decidedly less Roman then before. Also, the computer was having issues, so there is a great deal of sloppily edited restarts and some well edited restarts. Well edited is strong. Not as poorly edited. Julian was the thinking man's emperor. We are the thinking man's podcast. Do the sacred math, yo. 

Tito was the dictator of Yugoslavia. Yugoslavia doesn't exist anymore and neither does he. Jeremiah tells us all about him. John doesn't add much information, but some entertainment. There's a hurricane coming, but we thought it was important to get this to you, as all the podcasts we make are. Go look a Facebook sometime why don't you? We got one.

What did those Duke boys get up to again? Well I dunno, but I do know that we are back with a delightful serving of shmistory. The Confederacy was hella lame (an understatement), but they did a pretty good job with PR after they lost. Thank the United Daughters of the Confederacy! They want you to know that the south was a happy place where nobody liked slavery but where it did exist it was happy and did we mention that most of the people didn't have slaves and were really just fighting to protect their homes from Northern Aggression? Also, they make quilts! And statues, they loved statues and racism. The two things this podcast is about. So enjoy! Also , we got a facebook!

Join Jeremiah as he explains the significance of the arrest and case of Rosa Parks and its place within the context of American segregation. John is there too. Not must shmistory, but plenty to get fired up about. Rosa Parks sued OutKast as well. We waited a whole month and then gave you a relatively short episode, but what it lacks in quantity it makes up in quality (we think). Enjoy.

Hello all from the Land of Lincoln! Illinois! The guys recorded this a minute ago. But due to vacationing it took a while to get it all tuned up and uploaded. There probably isn't much difficulty in quality from the unedited files to the finished product. Nobody knows what they are doing around here. You know one person who did know what she was doing though? Hellen Keller. Without the aid of sight or sound she did more than most millennials could ever hope too. Even Mark Zuckerberg. Because on balance, how much has Facebook really improved your life? Also, who's the Twitter guy? Nobody talks about the Twitter guy. Anyway, maybe there will be a Facebook someday for History Shmistory and then we can be hypocrites. Hellen Keller, she wrote a bunch of books, advocated for rights on the parts of the blind, the deaf and the downtrodden, and led a long, full life to be proud of. Enjoy!

Come learn about Francis Drake. Jeremiah takes John on a trip to the New World in search of Spanish ships to plunder. We learn that its alright to associate with French pirates, the Spanish had a ship named after burning feces, don't be a sorcerer and talk bad about your captain, and always invest in more ships. Enjoy!

Hello guys and gals, hope you are doing great. Happy Mother's day to all the moms out there (which is probably most of our listener base). We got you what everyone would want for a day devoted to appreciation for maternal care. Vlad the Impalercast! That Son of a Dragon! Watch as Vlad fights for the Ottomans, then fights the boyars of Wallachia, then fights the Saxons in Transylvania, then fights against the Ottomans, then fights against Wallachians, then dies how he lived. Violently. He was a lot of things, but you know one thing he wasn't? A vampire. The vampire craze ended a few years ago. Get over it, author of Twilight.

Join the History Shmistory boys as we dip into well traveled territory and talk about Ivan the Terrible. This time we have guests! Our good friends David and Joel drop by to bring a bit of levity and some extra shmistory to our history. Also featuring John's air conditioner, as we recorded in his kitchen and it was a hot spring night. We are going to work on our future use of the microphone to record more than 2 people. But on the whole Ivan the Terrible thing, was he really that terrible? Only if you count some secret police, torture and a good ole filicide. Enjoy!

Hey there guys!California. So many songs. So many dreams. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Coastal elitism. Hybrids! Also, an early example of some sketchy dealings on the part of the US. But hey, you be the judge! Jeremiah and John sure decide too. Join the boys as they travel through the Californio social scene and the "conquest" of errors that was the end of Mexican rule. Also, the Mexican-American War! Oh my! Email us at a correctly spelled email for sources. 

historyshmistorypodcast@gmail.com

And so it ends. John listened to a book but Jeremiah continues to steer the ship for this one. We talk about Hannibal's time in Spain and Italy, the end of that time, the end of Hannibal and the end of Carthage. The end of Carthage is pretty quick. The episode itself is not. Also I we forgot to mention in the episode, stay tuned for A Brief History of Finance's new episode soon and if you haven't find the podcast on iTunes and listen to it. Enjoy!

historyschmistorypddcast@gmail.com

Surprise! Here it is. The new episode! Everything thing you ever wanted to know about the First Punic War! Ok, not really. There is a great deal more to know. But its what we have so there it is. There's more to Carthage then you picked up in your world history class. The Mediterranean world was a rich tapestry of tunic wearing, ship rowing fun time party guys and Carthage was the big daddy of all of them for a bit. Then Rome got big and stuff. John made a bunch of mistakes, Jeremiah probably pronounced things wrong. But they both made it out alive. As do the Carthaginians........for now (ominous music).

historyschmistorypddcast@gmail.com

Hello and welcome to this episode of the History Shmistory Podcast, Evelyn's brother. You have joined our significant others and moms in listening to this podcast. We have tried to convince our friends.

In this episode, John does some heavy lifting in an unsafe fashion. From the back and with a twisting, wrenching motion. All to teach Jeremiah about Ambrosius Aurelianus, a man for whom we have exactly one (kind of) primary source. We also learn about his daddy, the Saxons and their long knives and what they do with said knives, the Welsh (the original Britons), and some other Britons (who became the Welsh). King Arthur too! I have found over 2 historical inaccuracies but less then 100. Prize goes to the person who finds the most.

Tell your moms about us, we are doing really well with moms.

Email us! historyschmistorypddcast@gmail.com

Email me for sources, I know I said I would put them up here in the episode but I don't feel like it anymore. They exist, they are real, but maybe you aren't. What if this is all a figment of our imagination?

I don't have a bunch to write here....The Hopi enjoyed themselves just fine. But then the Spanish come looking for gold, the Mexican government pays good money for scalps and the USA comes looking to spread Christianity and give haircuts. Here's an idea, lets get some of the most unqualified people we can, give them positions of power and send them out to Arizona to take care of some fully functioning adults. That's a great idea. John and Jeremiah learn about the Hopi. Hopefully they don't do terribly. Enjoy! Write in at historyschmistorypddcast@gmail.com!

Join John in getting a broad overview of a less romantic and more bloody and backstabby period in the history of China. The Romance of the Three Kingdoms. Lots of Dynasty Warrior references, the good guy dies before the end, the fall of the Han Dynasty and the business interests of the Mars candy company. Just giving you a little taste so you can go out and search for more information on you own, like better podcasts. Tell us how bad we did at historyschmistorypddcast@gmail.com!

The War of the Triple Alliance, the Paraguayan War, the Great War (in Paraguay), all names for one of the bloodiest conflicts in South America and in terms of population loss, one of the bloodiest in world history. John schools Jeremiah on this conflict, but also on the post independence history of Paraguay, Uruguay, Brazil, and Argentina. They also talk about a whole bunch of different things. It takes about an hour to actually get to the topic, John didn't actually check on any pronunciations, and we may have managed to offend both the nation of Portugal and the state of Delaware at the same time. You are welcome.

email for sources

historyschmistorypddcast@gmail.com

John and Jeremiah take their first tentative steps (again) into the world of podcasting to talk about the wealthiest man ever! What was his secret? Saving? Good investments? Magic? Gold. It was totally gold. Lots and lots of gold, all owned by the Mansa himself. We learn about the history of the Mali Empire, the fabled Hajj of Mansa Musa and the further consolidation of links between Sub-Saharan Africa and the rest of the Islamic world. All with poor audio quality (Not anymore!). We got a better mic since the first time, so we figured what the heck. John ate to many tacos, which accounts for the yawns. Friyay indeed.

John got really excited and rushed into the rainy moors of English history in search of the real Edward I without enough provisions. Jeremiah appeared like a shining knight to save him. This is a story of the rescue mission that saved the History Shmistory Podcast from the ravages of hunger and poor use of time in reading source material. Jeremiah guides us through the reign of Edward I. John incorrectly states the current queen of the UK is Victoria (it isn't, its Elizabeth II). We both forget to mention the story of Edward chasing a guy with a sword because of poor falconry skills. Edward I, great for England (Kind of). Poor if you happen to be an English Jew, a Welshman who doesn't want to be ruled by England, a Scot who doesn't want to be ruled by England or Mel Gibson as William Wallace as a character loosely based on a true story. John makes mistakes.

Learn about the Cathars (didn't actually call themselves Cathars) and the efforts of the 13th century papacy to get rid of them. Featuring: Pope Innocent III (not very "innocent"), Simon de Monfort, and too many Raimons to count! Listen as John butchers some perfectly good French and both of our heroes learn that Crusades make for somber reading material. A reflection on misunderstandings and the misty expanses of history. Enjoy!

Hey listeners! I haven't posted the actual first History Shmistory Podcast episode, as the audio quality is poor and I didn't want to take up any space with it. If you want to listen, go here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDJdzO9sUfs. We are still very proud of it, as it was our first. When people look back on this, they will say that it is arguably the best, like a band you like that gets too popular and you tell all your friends that you knew them back when they started. Like that. Thanks for listening!

John and Jeremiah